


Everlasting

by Bookshido



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse, Alpha Dean Winchester, Alpha Sam Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cheating Sam, Cussing, Depression, Discussion of Abortion, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, F/M, Omega Original Female Character, Out of Character Sam, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Suicidal Thoughts, beta reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-11-15 04:36:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11223453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookshido/pseuds/Bookshido
Summary: You and Sam Winchester have been happily married for four years with no problems arising, despite your status as a Beta and his as an Alpha. But lately, things have been changing. Sam is growing more distant, leaving you with Dean to complain too.Then Sam reveals what’s been going on.(Each chapter will have a breakdown of trigger warnings before each chapter)





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Trigger Warnings:
> 
> Cheating on long-term spouses, mentions of one-night stand, so much cussing, describing someone in that they look like a sex worker, calling a person a bitch, light description of torture, and general betrayal.

“No, I love you,” you giggled into the phone, ignoring the look Dean was giving you from across the table.

“I love you more,” Sam chuckled back. “I’ll be there soon, just have to wrap up this case and then I’m coming back.”

You were just about to reply when the call was hung up with a firm click.

“Alright, love you too,” you sighed, pulling your phone away and staring at the now black screen.

“He did it again, didn’t he,” Dean asked, his green eyes piercing your soul as you nodded.

This was the third time Sam’d done this to you; cooed to you, then hung up the phone with a jarring end to the conversation. Dean could tell every time that it had happened and you had readily confided in him, happy to know that your secret was safe with him.

“Hey, what do you say that we go out to Amanda’s bar,” Dean suggested, slamming the book shut. “You could use to take a load off, and I need a good drink.”

“Alright, fine,” you agreed, sighing angrily and turning off your phone as you rose from the seat. “I’ll go get changed.”

Five minutes later, you appeared, clad in dark wash jeans and a dark purple tank top. You covered your shoulders with a black leather jacket and your feet wore a pair of black leather boots that ended up just below your knees.

Dean’s jaw dropped and he coughed, putting on a flirty smile for you.

“Sam’s a lucky man,” Dean said, taking your arm and leading you out to the Impala.

Luna’s was packed, but when you and Dean arrived, Amanda, the bar’s owner, cleared a space at the bar for you both to sit at. The two displaced hunters glared at the pair of you briefly, but went to find another place to nurse their beers. **  
**

“Dean! Y/N!” she cheered, welcoming you both with two beers. “Good to see you again!”

“Good to see you as well, Amanda,” you told her, studying her and not touching the beer.

Amanda was one of your closest friends and a surprisingly good bartender for a female Omega. Having been a hunter before she opened the bar, it was to be expected that she’d find her true mate when hanging out with the Winchesters and fighting evil.

But no one had expected it to be Gadreel.

The chemistry between them was incredible, to say the least. As Gadreel regained his will to be free from his cursed legacy, so did his closeness to Amanda grow. The blue-haired, tattooed, and pierced hunter brought out a different side of him that no one had ever seen in all the time they knew him. The girl who saw herself as broken was fixed by the healing comfort of Gadreel’s company and understanding heart.

And when Amanda broke the news that she and Gadreel wanted to leave the world of hunting behind and start a new life together, no one at all was going to stop them.

And so Luna’s was born, named after Amanda’s dog, and quickly became a hunter stop over just inside the city limits of Lebanon. It was also Dean’s favorite place to play pool and he often challenged Gadreel to a game when they came in. Amanda ran most of the bar’s duties, from the finances to the majority of the cleaning. Gadreel handled most of the actual bartending and was the muscle to keep the hunters, who were all usually a variation of Betas and Alphas, in line.

But when Gadreel was otherwise occupied, it was Amanda behind the bar, as she was tonight.

“Not drinking tonight?” Amanda asked, waltzing over and leaning on the bar across from you.

“Sam’s getting in tonight, I want to be sober when he gets in,” you explained.

Amanda was about to squeal, but bit on her lower lip and leaned closer to you as well. “I have something to admit,” she said secretively, placing a hand on her stomach.

“Are you-” you asked in a gasp, being just as shocked as she had been.

“Yes!” she squealed. “I haven’t told Gadreel yet; it’s going to be a birthday present for him next week.”

“Congratulations,” you whispered, seeing her husband come over.

“Thanks,” she whispered back, being pulled backwards and swept into a deep kiss.

The entire bar burst into applause and Amanda emerged from the kiss with flushed cheeks and an embarrassed expression. A few hunters whooped approvingly.

“We have a few customers who want to discuss some hunting matters,” Gadreel said, his voice even, but with an undertone of worry. “They requested to talk to you.”

“Let’s go talk with them then,” she said back, winking at you. “I’ll see you two later.”

* * *

You drove Dean back to the bunker around eleven, both of you exhausted and ready for bed. But once Dean was seated in the bunker’s library with a huge milkshake in front of him, you snuck into the kitchen and whipped up an espresso shot.

You and Sam had a lot to talk about when he got home.

* * *

You and Dean stayed up until two in the morning, waiting for Sam.

Dean hadn’t even questioned when you had asked him to help you set the table in the library around midnight. He’d helped you light the candles, and then blow them out around one when Sam still had not shown his face. He’d helped you prepare a simple baked ziti and set it out on plates, then put them back in the pan and return the dinner to the oven to stay warm.

* * *

Sam finally walked in around two thirty in the morning, looking exhausted, but his eyes lighting up when he saw you.

“Sam!” you cheered, rising from your chair and nearly tackling him in a hug.

“Hey, Y/N,” Sam said with a grin. “Good to see you again.”

“Glad to see you came home, safe and sound,” you whispered, rising up on your tiptoes to kiss Sam.

The kiss you shared was strange, lacking the usual passion of your kisses and you pulled back, looking at Sam with worry in your eyes. Dean looked just as confused as you felt, but didn’t speak.

“Sam, is everything okay?” you asked your husband as you stepped back and away from him.

“Dean, can you leave us alone?” Sam asked, gesturing for his brother to leave the room.

“Uh, sure,” Dean said, looking quite confused and exiting the room.

Sam waited until his brother’s footsteps echoed back down towards his room before he spoke again. “Megan, you can come in now,” he called.

The clink of heels on metal echoed through the library as this Megan girl descended from the door platform.

Megan was a girl who couldn’t be much younger than twenty five, very slight and skinny, with long dark hair that almost blended in with the skin tight black dress she was wearing. It barely covered her ass and had very skinny spaghetti straps. The only word that came to mind in your head was ‘Prostitute’.

She reminded you all too much of the second vessel that Ruby had and was obviously an Omega who was towered over by Sam. In fact, she was shorter than you, which was surprising considering how much the brothers teased you about it.

She stepped down onto the tile floor of the bunker and walked over to Sam, her slinky black dress sticking to her legs and almost giving you a view of her underwear. You averted your eyes until she stopped, standing next to Sam.

Then, to your utter surprise, Sam put his arm around Megan’s waist and pulled her a little closer, eliciting a giggle from her and a glare from you.

“Sam, what the hell is going on?” you asked, placing your hands on your hips.

“This is Megan, she’s going to be moving into the bunker,” Sam said.

“Why?” you asked, looking between them, utterly confused.

Sam and Megan shared a look, obviously speaking to each other with their eyes before Megan looked back over at you and made eye contact.

“Y/N, I know you love Sam,” Megan said, taking Sam’s hand and smiling, sending an angry shiver up your spine. "But we’re true mates. We’re meant to be. I hope you can understand that.”

“True mates,” you repeated, the words not sinking in. Her words felt like they were poison in your mouth and the more you thought about it, the worse you felt.

"And yes, Sam did cheat on you,” she admitted, your head snapping up to make eye contact with her.

The Omega’s confidence seemed to waver for a second at the anger in your gaze, but she continued on.

"But I hope you can forgive us and try to be happy for us having found each other,” she said, looking to Sam for approval. He nodded, making her nod as well and look back at you.

“What kind of a person do you think I am?” you asked her in disgust. "You really expect that just because you and my husband are ‘true mates’, I’m just going to roll over and wish you a happy life and put you both in my rear view mirror?”

“Um, yes?” she said, now completely unsure of herself. “I mean, it would never have worked out anyways-”

“Shut the hell up, right now,” you ordered, cutting Megan off and feeling your emotions taking you over the edge of sanity. “I want to talk to my husband.”

"First off, how dare you,” you spat at Sam, turning the fire on him. "No wonder you loved staying late at the bar. I bet that’s where you picked up this skinny little model. It is, isn’t it? Has this been why you’ve always been so late on hunts.”

“Oh don’t give me that,” Sam snapped, stepping away from Megan. “I talked to Amanda. Every time I go away, she sees you and Dean show up at the bar, get a few beers, and come back here to do God knows what.”

“I would never sleep with Dean,” you spat back. “I have the dignity to know that he’s not the man I chose and vowed to spend the rest of my life with!”

Sam didn't seem to back down, so you kept going.

“Does she even know what we do?” you asked, glaring at him. “Does she know what it means to sleep with Sam Winchester? Because it was a pretty nasty shock when I ended up with a scar on my arm.”

You pulled up your sleeve, showing the long, jagged, white scar on your upper arm that had always reminded you of the best mistake of your life. It was nasty to look at, but you had always found a certain beauty to what it had meant. Until now.

A month after you and Sam had started dating, a demon had crept into your motel room and decided to try and take you apart, piece by piece. He’d only been able to slash at you once before Sam returned, but it was the only warning you’d received that you had fallen in love with a dangerous man.

“Yes, I know,” Megan whispered, unable to take her eyes off the scar.

"How long,” you demanded, pulling your sleeve back down. "How long has this been going on.”

“Almost three months,” Megan said, bracing herself for the beratement to come.

“How did it start.”

“Sam and I were both really drunk,” Megan explained quickly. “It was an honest mistake, but the next morning, we both knew.”

"You know what? I don’t give a flying fuck if you and Sam are ‘true mates’ or whatever BS you want to call it. Because he is my husband and no Omega bitch is going to steal him from me no matter how much he likes fucking her!” you screamed at the pair of them, directing the majority of your hate and fury towards Sam, but with a large amount going to Megan. "What the hell does she have that I don’t? Is it her tits? Is is the way she calls her name when you send her over the edge? What can’t she give you that I fucking can’t? What the hell does a one night stand have over four years of marriage and ten years of friendship?”

Megan looked close to tears and Sam stepped forward protectively in front of her. "Y/N, don’t talk to Megan like that,” he said, his voice low and dark, the threat easily heard.

“Don’t talk to her like that?” you screamed back. "Don’t talk to her like that? Then how should I talk to the Omega who’s ruining my marriage? How should I talk to the person who waltzed into my life and is going to be moving into my house? How should I talk to the reason I found out you fucking cheated on me Sam! How should I talk to the Omega who is making all of my worst nightmares come true? How, Sam!”

“At least give her some respect,” Sam said, knowing the second after he said that that it was the wrong thing to say to an angry Beta.

"You talk about respect when you went out to a bar and got fucking drunk then decided to hook up with Loose Legs here and find out that after a one night stand you two are now locked with each other and your Beta wife has to watch you two make doe-eyes at each other as you explain how you two will have something that I can never ever have because of what I was born as,” you screamed back, feeling tears start to roll down your cheeks.

"Y/N-” Sam protested, obviously seeming remorseful, but you cut him off with a wave of your hand.

"Sam,” you said softly, feeling too calm for what you were going to do. "It has to be me, or her.”

Megan went pale, the tears shining even more on her cheeks.

"It’s up to you,” you said in the same tone. "Whatever choice you make, it had better be the one that makes you happy, Sam. I won’t live a fucking lie like you did these past three months.”

He couldn’t say anything, his mouth wide open in shock.

"If you choose her,” you said, look Sam right in the eyes. "Then I’ll pack my stuff and be out of your lives forever in a half an hour.”

“Y/N, don’t make me make this choice,” Sam pleaded.

"Make it, Sam,” you snapped, your anger returning to the argument.

Sam looked between you both, tears pouring down his cheeks as he looked, torn between the two women.

Finally, almost too quickly despite how long he had thought about it, Sam reached out and took Megan’s hand, stepping back to where he was even with her.

The world suddenly went silent.

You could feel your heart break at that second.

You took a deep breath, letting it go shakily.

"I’ll be in my room,” you said in a whisper, exiting the library and going to your room that had been right next to Sam’s. 

* * *

It had never occurred to you that you’d ever have to move out of your room that had been yours since they found the bunker and you almost had to stop packing because of how hard you were crying.

You didn’t know when Dean had entered your room, but you soon were taking items with whispered thanks to the elder Winchester. Finally, as the last of your things were fit into the duffle bag you had carried them into the room in, you stopped crying, the tears starting to dry as you began to gather up your items from your bathroom and stuff them into your purse, your eyes falling on the little box that you had been hoping to show to Sam at dinner. Without thinking, you shoved it into the purse and returned to your room to put more things in the duffle.

Dean watched you, a somber look on his face.

"Do you need help getting to your car?” he asked quietly.

"No, I’ll manage,” you replied, lifting your duffle bag up into your shoulder and heading out of the room that was once your own.

He didn’t say a word, but you wanted to cry out for him to say something, anything that would prove that he was on your side. Anything that would show you that he wanted you to stay. 

* * *

You walked through the library, stiffening your back as you walked past the man who you had vowed to love until the day you died but who had chosen another woman over you. Megan and Sam watched with wide eyes as you carried your bag out to your car in the garage. Starting the engine with a sigh, you drove the car around to the front door of the bunker, not wanting to leave until you had had the last word.

Parking the car, you went in the huge door, walking down the steps and approaching Sam and Megan, who were still staring at you in shock. A wave of nostalgia washed over you, reminding you that this was going to be the last time you ever walked through the bunker.

You were crying now and reached into your purse, pulling out the small box you had bought earlier today. You stared at the box, not moving, just breathing heavily as you decided your last move.

"I hope you’re satisfied,” you said, unable to stop the crack in your voice as you tossed the box at his feet and headed out of the bunker, slamming the door behind you. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> Pregnancy, fighting, cussing, threats, and preparation to follow through with abortion.

Sam and Megan stared after her with wide eyes, not sure what to do now. Finally, Megan stepped away from Sam and walked over to the box, picking it up and turning it over to read the label aloud. 

“‘First Response’,” she said, her voice sounding choked. “‘Early Result Pregnancy Test’… Oh my god…”

She dropped the box and backed away, right into Sam, who pulled her into a hug. Megan was almost in tears from shock and remorse.

“Oh my god,” Megan cried, the tears falling now. “Sam, I-”

“Megan, shush,” Sam soothed her, rubbing her back. "It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not,” she cried, louder this time, pushing Sam away. "She’s carrying your pups, Sam! I bet that’s why the table was set up so nicely when we got here. She was going to tell you-”

Dean’s sharp voice cut in at that moment. “Why the fuck did you just do that, Sam.”

The elder Winchester stormed into the room, his normally bright apple eyes were now hard as shards of emerald. He went after Sam, hitting him squarely in the jaw with a mean right hook. Sam went down clutching his cheek and Megan cried out in alarm, stepping between the two men. Dean pushed her out of the way and pinned Sam down, able to restrain his brother despite Sam’s growing fury about him hurting Megan.There was a quiet standoff between the two Alphas as both of them stared each other down. 

Finally, Dean got up and backed away from Sam, the fury still present, but more subdued. He turned and began to leave, ready to let the situation go.

But Sam wasn’t.

Sam climbed to his feet with a low laugh. “I bet that was because you won’t be able to be sleeping with her behind my back now-”

Sam didn’t have time to finish before Dean decked him again, this time in the nose. There was a sickening ‘crack!’ and Sam went down again, this time with blood dripping out from between his fingers. 

Sam laughed again, the laugh cold and almost heartless. “Didn’t like that, did you, Big Brother?”

“You shut your mouth, right now,” Dean growled, looming over Sam. “What you did was cruel and without dignity. Y/N never deserved what you just did. No woman does.”

“Says the man who was sleeping with my wife while I was out on hunts,” Sam spat, his voice becoming nasally as the blood kept flowing. 

“Says the guy who I thought was my brother who slept with a bar wench while drunk on one of those solo hunts,” Dean spat back. “I wish I had been sleeping with her. Then you might actually have an excuse for what you did.”

Sam scoffs. “As if Y/N was ever that pure. I’ve known that she wanted you since the beginning, since before we dated. I bet you jumped at the chance.”

“I would never lay a finger on her,” Dean snarled. “I, at least, honor other people’s commitments and feelings.”

“Oh don’t you preach,” Sam snapped. “I’ve smelled her perfume on your collar, the way she likes to sit in your spot on the couch when we watch Netflix together; she goes out of her way to care for you and I bet you know exactly how to care for her.”

Dean seemed at a loss for words and was about to speak when Megan tried to jump in. “Dean, it never would have-” she began.

“Shut up,” he snapped, cutting her off with his words and a sharp glare. “No, wait, answer me one question: did you know Sam was married when you two slept together?”

Megan shook her head, her eyes wide with fear. “No, I swear I didn’t. We didn’t even really talk until the next morning-”

“Then I’m willing to forgive you,” Dean snapped. “At least you didn’t make this fucking mistake on purpose. Unlike this dickhead here.” He gestured to Sam, who made a small noise of outrage. 

“I’m going to find Y/N,” Dean growled, pointing at Sam threateningly. “And I’m going to make sure that she isn’t going to hurt herself because you couldn’t keep it in your pants. You’d better not be here when I get back; as far as I’m concerned, you’re no longer my brother.”

He stormed off, leaving Megan to nurse Sam’s bleeding nose. 

* * *

Sam winced and tried to speak when she dabbed away the blood, but Megan shushed him, cleaning him up still after ten minutes. 

The rumble of the Impala had vanished from earshot only five minutes ago and Sam knew that he was going to have a head start on trying to find Y/N. Of course, they would have to beat him to her for his idea to actually be considered. 

 Finally, he spoke, when his nose was clean and no longer bleeding. 

“Megan, remember what you said?” he said with another wince.

“About what?” she asked, standing and brushing her hands off. 

“About you not being able to have pups,” Sam said, standing and holding the bridge of his nose to keep from bleeding again. 

“Yeah, what about it?” Megan asked, turning back to him, looking confused and hurt. “I thought that-” 

“I’m willing to bet that Y/N has some pups that she’d like to give up,” Sam said, a dark twinkle in his eyes. 

“Do you really think she would go for it?” she asked, her eyes wide with shock. 

“Y/N and I were pretty open about wanting pups,” Sam explained, stretching carefully. “Even though we thought she couldn’t have any. I don’t think she’s going to consider aborting them.”

“Well, then we’d better get on the road then,” Megan said, taking Sam’s hand. “If we want to beat your brother to her.”

Sam nodded, squeezing her hand with a smile. “We’ll catch him. I know he’s not going to leave town without stopping at Luna’s.”

* * *

Dean pushed open the door of the now closed Luna’s having successfully picked the lock. 

All of the bar stools and the chairs around the tables were set on top of the tables and bar. The pool cues and the pool tables were set in their neat orderly fashion and the wooden floor look freshly mopped. His footsteps echoed around the room and he looked around for any sign of movement. Rising up from behind the bar, Gadreel spotted him and Dean began to walk over towards the bartender.

Gadreel walked around to meet him, not recognizing him just yet. “Buddy, bar’s closed- Dean!”

The angel’s face broke into a smile and he pulled Dean into a hug. “Good to see you! How have you been? Did you hear the news?”

Not completely wanting to sour the cheerful angel’s mood, Dean slapped on a smile and played along. “What’s the news?”

“Mandy is pregnant!” Gadreel exclaimed, looking like he was about to fly through the roof with joy. “With my pups!”

“Congratulations, dude,” Dean said, grinning genuinely now. “How far along?”

“One month, I believe,” Gadreel gushed. “I never knew that human parenthood could feel so incredible!”

“Seriously, congratulations, man,” Dean said, clapping him on the back. “Speaking of Amanda, can I talk with her real quick?” 

Gadreel nodded. “I’ll be right back.” 

He bustled off with a spring in his step towards the back room, calling her name multiple times. It took only a couple of minutes for Amanda to appear, closely flanked by her Alpha. 

She looked happy, but also irritated that he was hovering over her. “Gadreel, really, I’m fine,” she snapped, pushing him away from her with one hand. “Let me talk to Dean.”

The angel looked like a kicked puppy, but nodded and went back to the bar, leaving them alone. 

“So, what brings you here,” she asked, leaning on a table. “Besides to tell me that I look glowing.” 

Dean chuckled, but became serious. “Amanda, did you see Y/N come in late last night? Probably around three in the morning?”

Amanda had to think about that awhile, her thinking punctuated by small ‘Hm’s. 

Finally, she spoke.“I think she did, after you left, but she never came up to the bar,” Amanda said with a shrug. “I thought I saw her talking to a couple of hunters in a corner booth.”

“Thanks,” Dean said, looking around. “Did she say anything to you about where she was going?”

“No, like I said, she never came up to the bar,” Amanda said with a shrug. “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“No, no, thanks though,” Dean said, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’ll see you two later.”

“Hey, Dean,” Amanda called as he turned to walk to the door. 

Dean turned to look back at her. 

“I hope you find her,” she said, smiling sadly.

“Thank you,” he said, heading out the door. 

* * *

Sam came breezing in with Megan in tow only an hour later. 

“Amanda, Gadreel,” he demanded, his voice loud and abrasive. 

Amanda and Gadreel walked over, looks of concern on their face. 

“Sam, what is the matter?” Gadreel asked, looking very confused. 

“Why aren’t you with Dean?” Amanda asked, glancing at Megan. 

“Save it,” Sam snapped, startling them both. “Where’s Y/N?”

“We already told Dean,” Gadreel said, his voice low and threatening as he stepped in front of Amanda. 

“Well, I don’t want to hear it from Dean,” Sam snarled back, stepping towards Gadreel. “Tell me. Now. Where is Y/N.”

“We won’t tell you,” Gadreel said firmly, staring Sam down and his voice sharp. “Leave.”

“You’ll regret this,” Sam threatened. 

“Get out,” Gadreel spat. 

Sam looked like he was about to retort, but thought better as Gadreel reached for his gun. 

“Fine,” Sam snapped. “We’ll leave.”

He turned and grabbed Megan’s arm, pulling her out behind him. 

Amanda and Gadreel stared after them. 

Finally, once Sam and Megan’s car had pulled away and left, Amanda shook her head, returning to the bar. 

“I pity that Omega,” she said, grabbing the wiping cloth. “I don’t know what happened to Sam, but whatever it is, it isn’t good.”

* * *

“Mam’m, what is your rank?”

“Beta.”

“Okay… And the pup’s father?”

“Alpha.”

“Mhm. And your parents?”

“Omega, Alpha.”

“And his?”

“Omega, Alpha, I think. We never really discussed it.”

“And you understand that, as your medical professional, and as a friend, I think you are doing the right thing and that you are going to be avoiding the risks of a Beta pregnancy?”

“I do.”

“Please sign here.”

“Alright, Miss Y/L/N,” the doctor said, closing the file and staring you down. “I think that’s all the paperwork.”

You nodded, not hearing his next words as you stared at a crack in the floor. The immense nature of your decision was just beginning to sink in. 

“Miss Y/L/N?” the doctor asked, looking concerned. “Did you hear me?”

“No, sorry,” you said, your breath soft and almost cracking. 

“I said that we have to give you three days before we can preform the procedure,” he said, his eyes sympathetic. “It’s the law. And I have to give you these-”

He reached behind him to grab several pamphlets, which he then handed to you. 

You stared at them, feeling completely numb. Normally, in this kind of situation, you’d be rubbing your wedding ring between your fingers. But that was before you sold your rings (Both the engagement and the wedding band) for a hefty $500. Still remembering how to survive on less than that, you knew that the $500 you’d gotten from your rings would be able to last you three weeks. And that should be enough to let you be able to find a place to stay and then try to get out of hunting. Live alone and isolated. 

Henry patted your knee with a sympathetic smile. “It’ll be alright, Y/N. Just let Em and I know if you need anything. I’m sure this is really being rough on you.”

You nodded and tried to smile. “Thank you, Henry. I’ll be back to see you in three days.”

You rose, shaking his hand and collecting your purse.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings:
> 
> Excessive drinking, cussing, murder threats, mentions of abortion,

“Cas? Look, I know that you are… well, wherever you go off to when you’re not at the bunker, but… FUCK!” Dean cussed loudly, aiming a kick at the tire of the Impala out of frustration.

He sighed angrily and leaned on the hood of his car, trying to compose a better prayer to Cas.

Normally, he’d ask Sam to help him, but now… Well, that would never be an option again. So it looked like he was going to have to make his own celestial phone calls.

And so far, it looked like he wasn’t getting through with only prayer fragments. He’d been doing the same thing for easily an hour: beginning the prayer and rage quitting after a couple words.

Dean took a deep breath and started over.

“Cas, look, man, I’m not the best with prayers, but… I really hope your ears are turned on and you’re gonna show up. I, uh, need to find Y/N. She vanished after Sam cheated on her. And I could use your angel mojo to find her. I know you and her haven’t gotten on that well, but I need your help,” Dean said, taking another deep breath and rubbing at his eyes, feeling the light pinprick of forming tears.

“So, just, uh, get your feathery butt down here,” Dean finished lamely, hoping that his message got through.

There was a slight whooshing, like feathers rubbing together gently, and Castiel appeared in front of Dean. He was dressed in his typical clothing and cocked his head curiously at Dean.

“Dean, Y/N is missing?” Castiel asked, looking slightly confused. “Why would Sam cheat on her?”

“I wish I knew,” Dean muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets. “They had something. Something I wish I could find in someone. Why he would sleep with someone else?”

“I can find her,” Cas said, changing the subject and getting Dean’s attention. “It may take a day or so, but I can find her.”

“Do it,” Dean ordered, grabbing Cas’s arm.

They vanished with a flutter of feathers.

* * *

“She has to be in this city,” Castiel told him once they had returned to the bunker after searching. “I didn’t see her specifically, but her trail led there.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean said gratefully, studying the map and memorizing the location.

Only a three hour drive before he would be able to bring Y/N back home safe.

* * *

 

Sam finally spotted your car after almost three hours of driving and parked next to it in the seedy motel parking lot. He unlocked the doors and got out, nearly hitting Megan when he walked around the car and marched up to the motel room door.

* * *

“Y/N, let us in,” Sam yelled through the door, pounding his fist on the door with each word. **  
**

“Huff and puff and blow it down!” you giggled, getting unsteadily to your feet and stumbling to the door.

When he didn’t stop knocking, giving you a nasty headache and making you flip the door the middle finger, you finally opened it. Sam nearly knocked you down from how fast he entered the motel room with Megan on his heels.

“Y/N,” he barked, glaring at you. “We need to talk about the baby.”

You rolled your eyes and fumbled your way over to a chair. With a lot of effort, you took a seat and stared at them through half closed eyes.

“Is that what you came allllllllll the way out here for?” you slurred, grabbing your whiskey glass off the table.

“Yes, it is,” Megan said, watching as you downed the rest of your glass and sighed happily. “Y/N, should you be drinking?”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” you said, sounding more sober than you had all evening as you glared at Megan.

“Y/N, we want you to have the baby for us,” Sam said, cutting straight to the chase.

“Why should i do anything for you, you godless son ‘uva bitch,” you said, leaning forward and downing the remaining whiskey in the glass.

“Because if you don’t, I’ll kill you,” Sam said, completely deadpan and making Megan gasp.

You raised an eyebrow and leaned back in your chair, thinking over his offer. Not too bad of an offer, then you remembered something that put a little kink in the plans.

“Well’m, ya’ll came allllllll this way for nothin’,” you said, giggling at how your voice sounded like a country drawl.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, hoping that what you said wasn’t true.

“On Monday, I’m getting a leeeeetle shot, right here,” you said, pointing to your stomach and grinning. “And it’ll be gone!”

“You bitch,” Sam growled, starting to advance on you.

“Fuck you, Sam,” you laughed, staggering over to the bed and sinking down onto the edge tiredly. You had suddenly begun to feel more sober and actually were coming to your senses. Slightly. “Well… fuck her, actually…” you said with a shrug and a gesture at Sam.

You started giggling as Megan gasped and Sam turned a darker shade of red.

“You’d better cancel that appointment, right now,” Sam ordered, his eyes dark.

You laughed, feeling more bold the longer you talked. “You know damn well that that won’t work on me. I’m not your Omega; never have, never will be.”

“Y/N, so help me, if you don’t agree to this, I will force you to,” Sam growled.

“Sam!” Megan hissed, looking stunned. “I thought that we-”

“Do you want the baby or not?” Sam snapped back, seeming to ignore that you were there in front them.

“Mr. Wolf won’t let you,” you giggled, nearly collapsing back onto the bed as you swayed. “He’s going to be soooooo mad that you tried this, Sammy…”

“Who the hell is Mr. Wolf?” Sam asked with a snarl, right as Dean finally managed to jimmy the door’s lock open.

You pointed a wavering finger at the now open door, a tall muscular frame silhouetted against the lightning outside. Sam spun around, his eyes hardening at the sight of his brother.

Dean took a single step inside, his green eyes dark with fury and rain water dripping from every inch of him. A flick of his hand slammed the door shut, making Megan jump and start to back away.

“What the fuck are you doing here,” Dean asked Sam, his voice little more than a growl.

“I’m here to collect my pup,” Sam snapped back. “Why the hell are you here?”

“I’m here for my best friend,” Dean replied, moving to stand between Sam and you.

The two brothers bristled at each other and Megan backed further away, not wanting to get between what was going to become a nasty grudge fight between two men who had been brothers, but now were diametrically opposed to each other. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings:
> 
> Bad handling of mental health issues, mentions of emotional abuse, triggered panic attack, anxiety related vomiting, and destruction of property.

Once Henry had given Y/N a clean bill of health and informed her that, despite the heavy drinking, the baby seemed to be okay, Dean drove her straight back to Kansas. She was dead silent, only speaking when she had to and not eating more than water and bread. Dean was at a complete loss about what to do. He didn’t want to push her further than was necessary, but she needed to open up to him if he was going to help her. 

* * *

It took a week for Dean to crack. He couldn’t take watching her shuffle around the bunker in a bathrobe and socks, keeping to herself and not telling him anything. He had been delivering dinner to Y/N each night so she ate at least one meal a day, and tonight was worse than before. On other nights, she had been reading, or watching TV or some kind of entertainment when he arrived. But tonight, she just stared off into nothing, not even moving when he walked in.

“Alright, that’s it,” he announced, slamming down the tray on her side table and nearly spilling the soup.

She jumped, staring at him with wide eyes and hugging herself more tightly. He felt bad for startling her, but he knew he had to say something.

“What the hell is going on with you?” he snapped, crossing his arms and glaring at her. “Look, I know you’re going through a rough time, but Jesus Christ. You haven’t left your room in two days, You’ve only said the bare minimum to me.”

She still was looking terrified by his outburst, but he went on.

“What did I do?” he asked her, starting to pace. “Did I say something wrong? Is it because you’re still in your old room? Is my cooking making you sick? I know that my cleanliness isn’t the best, but I’d hope that you’d let me know if you weren’t feeling well. Is that what’s going on?”

“No,” she whispered, not looking away from him.

“Then what’s going on?” he barely shouted, pausing at the end of her bed. “I want to help you, but I can’t help if you don’t open up!”

“It’s only been a week, Dean,” she replied, swallowing as she sat up a little more. “I… I don’t feel ready to talk about it.”

“Okay,” he agreed, crossing his arms once again. “You should have just told me that.”

“I know,” she apologized, slipping back down under the covers. “It’s been really hard just in my own head. I can’t even help myself right now.”

A sob escaped her and she hid under the covers, shaking from the force of her sobs.

“Y/N…” he whispered, stepping around the corner of the bed and taking a seat on the end of it. “I’m sorry…”

The sobbing increased in volume.

“I shouldn’t have snapped at you,” he apologized, shifting his posture to get comfortable. “That was wrong. I know you’re going through a rough time and yelling isn’t going to help.”

The sobbing turned to small whimpers.

“I just…” he sighed, rubbing his face in his hands. “I miss the way things were. Back when we were all happy, when you and Sam were fine, and I was okay with you being together… When we were all the best of friends.”

“Were we ever happy?” she asked, voice muffled under the comforter.

“I thought I was,” he admitted, hesitantly placing a hand on her leg.

She twitched a little, but didn’t move. They sat still for a moment before she started moving again, pushing against the mattress so she could sit upright and look at him. He didn’t look at her for a moment, but the temptation was too great and he made eye contact. Her eyes, usually bright with light and laughter, were dull and shining with tears. The best emotion to describe her right now was exhaustion.

“I wasn’t,” she whispered, staring at him. “I wasn’t happy.”

“You weren’t?” Dean asked, confused.

“Sam was…” she began, sighing and wiping away another tear that fell. “Well, if any of our likes crossed over, we never found any. And he wanted kids so badly. And I was never able to give them to him. He knew going into our relationship that this was a possibility.”

“Yes,” Dean agreed, waiting for her to go one.

“He knew that I wanted kids too,” Y/N admitted, shifting awkwardly. “But after a couple of years of trying… your brother’s got one hell of a temper.”

“He hit you?” Dean asked in shock, eyes wide.

“No,” she exclaimed, trying to reassure him. “No, he never hit me. Just… called me all kinds of wicked, horrible names and told me that I wasn’t trying, that’s why it wasn’t happening and that I didn’t want it the same way that he did and that I was probably sleeping around. Said that because I was a Beta, I deserved to not have kids and I didn’t deserve to be with an Alpha.”

“I knew he did some fucked up shit, but this puts the icing on the cake,” Dean muttered, glancing over a picture of them still on the dresser.

“After that night, I tried, really hard,” she continued. “I wanted it so bad. Not just for him, but because everything he said, I’d been telling myself. You know, ‘You’re cursed’ and ‘You’ll never have kids’. I mean, we know that isn’t true now, but it felt so real then.”

“I feel that,” Dean agreed.

“I don’t know where to go from here,” Y/N admitted. “With Sam gone, I don’t even know if I want to keep it. He was always the one who wanted a kid, I didn’t need them to be happy with him.”

“He shouldn’t still be controlling you like this,” Dean mumbled, earning a surprised look from her. “You know, making you doubt your own decisions, bringing your emotional state down so low that you’re dependent on others...”

They sat there in silence and Dean swallowed heavily.

“I want to give you advice, but I can’t,” he explained. “It’s not my place to do anything but try and help. This is your kid, so you have to make that call. Just know that no matter what you decide, I’ll support you.”

“I know, don't worry about it,” she assured him. “I just… I need some time to really process it all.”

“Alright,” he agreed, patting her hand. “Do you want to be alone now?”

“If that’s alright?” Y/N asked, smiling weakly. “I’ll eat everything on the tray, I promise.”

“Yeah, no worries,” he said with a shrug. “You have my number, just yell. I’ll be listening, alright?”

“Alright,” she said, snuggling down into the bed again.

Dean patted her gently on the head and stood, brushing himself off before heading to the door. As he opened it, Y/N’s muffled voice stopped him.

“Dean?” she called, flipping over to face him.

“Yeah?” he replied, turning back to her.

“Thank you.”

“... Of course, Y/N.”

He closed the door behind him and walked away, ignoring the lingering feeling in the back of his mind about how all he wanted to do was go back there and stay with her all night long.

* * *

 

Y/N emerged from her room the following day before Dean even had the chance to wake up. He awoke to the smell of something burning and he almost brushed it off, assuming for a moment that Sammy was fucking up. But then he remembered Sam wasn’t in the bunker anymore and Dean jumped out of bed, bolting through the maze of halls to the kitchen.

“Y/N?” he called, blindly pushing the door open and walking in. “I smelled smoke-”

He stopped short when he entered an empty room. Everything was still blurry from sleep, so he cleared the sleepies away, pawing at his face. Now that he could see, he took a couple tentative steps forward into the room, staring at the center island.

A simple plate of eggs, bacon, and toast was sitting there innocently. It was well-plated (At least, according to what the cooking shows had told him) and it seemed to be well-cooked and not burned at all. He studied them suspiciously, inching closer and checking all around him as he advanced. There didn’t seem to be any kind of trap in place, so he hesitantly picked up a fork next to the plate and poked at the food. Nothing happened, so he grabbed the knife and began cutting into the over easy eggs. The yolk split open and yellow juices poured out and towards the toast, which he moved out of the way by putting it on top of the bacon. Dean took a small bite of the egg white, now stained with yolk. It was excellent and he couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared as he took another bite.

Within minutes, the meal was gone and Dean patted his stomach happily as he wandered back to his room. The bunker was still silent, and for a moment he thought to go check on Y/N, but he figured she wouldn’t be up yet, considering that it was almost nine in the morning and her sleeping habits had her staying up and waking up later.

A folded piece of paper rested on his pillow, addressed to him in neat block letters. Starting to frown, he picked it up and unfolded it.

_Dear Dean,_

_I thought a lot about what we discussed last night. I’m still not okay, but I want to try and get better and move on. It’ll take time, but I want to start trying to get back to some level of normalcy with you. Would you want to have a nightly TV show hour with me? Slip a note under my door with your answer; I’m not feeling like I should be talking to anyone today._

_By the way, I hope you liked the breakfast._

_Sincerely,_

_Y/N_

Dean smiled down at the scratchy handwriting and glanced around looking for a pen.

* * *

 

You had only just returned to your bed when a piece of paper was slid under your door. Waiting until Dean’s footsteps faded away back down the hall, you got out of bed and crept over to pick it up. Your socked feet muffled the footsteps on the concrete. Dean’s reply was written on the backside of your initial note, so you flipped over your own writing to see his.

_Y/N,_

_Of course I’d enjoy having a TV hour every night. And we don’t even need to talk during it if you don’t want to. What do you want to watch, Dr. Sexy or one of those vice cop shows?_

_-Dean_

_P.S. the breakfast was amazing, even if I thought someone-thing had burned this morning._

Smiling fully to yourself for the first time since this whole mess began, you grabbed your pen and circled the Dr. Sexy option and pushed it back under the door for him to find. It was already almost nine and you could hardly wait until tonight.

* * *

 

Dean was pacing in the sitting room where the TV was anxious now that it was almost nine o’clock at night. That was the time agreed upon by both of you as when you would emerge from your room and meet him to watch an episode of Dr. Sexy. He was nervous that you wouldn’t show up. After all, it had been less than a day since you’d had the talk about starting to move forward and he was no therapist. This kind of progress was unsettling and he was very hesitant to believe that this was really the case.

To his surprise, at exactly nine, in came Y/N, wearing her fox Kigurumi and thick pink and blue socks. She had a sort of worried look on her face, but it vanished as Dean flashed her a huge grin and held up a bag of Skittles and a bottle of Seven Up. She returned his smile, hesitantly, but took the candy and soda and went to the couch. Dean followed her over and took a seat on the opposite end, pulling out a bag of Starburst and ripping it open.

“So, Doctor Sexy?” she asked, her voice soft and slightly hoarse.

“Yep,” he agreed around a mouth full of candy as he grabbed the remote and switched on the set.

An episode was already viewing, and they watched the end of it in relative quiet, save for the munching and slurping noises. The next episode came on immediately afterwards and Dean mumble-hummed along to the theme song. It only took a couple of bars to get Y/N joining in and they watched avidly as the usual hijinks went on about the hospital. He kept looking over to see if she was okay, and with every moment, she seemed more and more like her old self, laughing along at poorly disguised innuendos and the bumbling mannerisms.

But, as with most things in life, people just can’t have nice things.

* * *

“Oh, Doctor…” the guest actress of the week moaned as Doctor Sexy dipped her.

“Nurse Hannelly, I could kiss you right now,” Doctor Sexy declared, pulling her closer.

“But my-” she protested, but he cut her off by pushing a curl off of her face.

“Forget about James,” he assured her, smirking. “He’s just your fiance; engagements are flex arrangements.”

“I… I…” she stammered, then smiled. “One little kiss couldn’t hurt. Especially since you just saved a life!”

Then they kissed, the scene quickly escalating to a graphic make-out session with cheesy, too loud music. Dean glanced over at Y/N. She was staring at the screen, a strange horrified look on her face. He looked between her and the screen as it turned nearly pornographic. She swallowed, almost making a small gagging noise as they kept going. He quickly looked back at her, ignoring the TV as she stared off into nothing.

“I-I can’t watch this anymore,” she gasped, rising and bolting to the bathroom.

Dean shot up and ran after her, leaving the TV to run as he pursued her. Starburst spilled everywhere as he hurried after Y/N.

He found in the bathroom, toilet seat up, puking up all the candy and soda from earlier. He winced and stepped into the small room, pulling back her hair and slowly rubbing her back. Once she’d finished, Y/N pushed herself away from the bowl and leaned on the wall, an exhausted look on her face. Dean stepped back into the doorway and leaned on the frame.

“Y/N, I had no idea that was going to happen,” he said first, swallowing heavily.

“You couldn’t have known,” she whispered, wiping at her eyes to clear them out.

They both fell silent, Dean not moving as she flushed the toilet and stood.

“I… I think I should go to bed now,” she said softly.

“No worries,” he said, stepping back to let her exit. “Want me to walk with you?”

“I think I’ll be okay,” Y/N said, smiling weakly. “Thank you for coming after me.”

“Of course,” he said, smiling back.

Neither person said anything as she lingered and showed no signs of wanting to leave yet. She stepped forward and Dean barely leaned forward, certain that this was the beginning of a kiss. But then Y/N stepped back, turning quickly and walking down the hall without looking back at him. And Dean didn’t move until she vanished around the corner.

With a sigh, he looked at the ground and adjusted his shoulders before going back to the living room. He started cleaning up, gathering the spilled candy as best he could. A couple pieces were too far under the couch for him to reach, so he left them there. Once the other pieces were in the bowl, he set it on the coffee table and stared at the screen before him. Dr. Sexy was lip-locked with the actress who was engaged to some poor guy named James. That single image was enough to bring his best friend to vomiting from what his own brother had put her through. No wonder what the show was doing had triggered such an emotion in her. It made him sick to think about.

Dean stared at it, growing more and more angry with each passing second. Finally, his anger hit a fever pitch and he grabbed the heaviest thing he could find nearby, a thick hardcover book, and hurled it at the screen. It was directly on point and smashed into the TV, switching it off immediately and sending glass raining down from the set. Dean was breathing heavily, staring at his handiwork with a strong feeling of satisfaction.

Fuck Sam.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short chapter, but the drama continues! Thanks to everyone who responded to my question about chapter triggers! I really appreciate the feedback! From now on, each chapter will come with a complete list of trigger warnings. 
> 
> Chapter Warnings: 
> 
> Negative reaction to suggestion to go see a mental health professional, mentions of upcoming rut, mentions of potential sexual assault.

After the disastrous TV night, Dean and Y/N went back to near silence. It wasn’t all too uncomfortable, but whenever he spoke to her, she flinched. Each time, it hurt worse and worse. He couldn’t count the amount of times that he had spent almost an hour before bed wondering what he was doing wrong.

He also started to notice odd behaviors starting up. 

It seemed like every day she lost something or forgot where she put it. He didn’t pay much mind to it until she accidentally misplaced the Impala keys only to find them in her pocket an hour later. He’d joined her on the search, turning the bunker upside down to try and find the keys only to discover they had been on her person. 

Dean decided to finally bring the problem up. 

“Y/N, can I ask you something,” he asked suddenly when they were eating together. 

Her head shot up, eyes wide; he went on, pushing down his feelings. 

“Can I see your phone for a second?” he asked, barely glancing to where it rested on the counter before looking back to her. 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” she agreed quietly, patting down her pockets and frowning. “Huh. I thought I had it…”

Dean coughed lightly and reached behind himself. He picked up the phone and waved it slightly, getting her attention. The look on Y/N’s face would have been priceless if not for how much this forgetfulness concerned him.

“There it is,” she said, laughing nervously and trying to downplay what had just happened. “I must have misplaced it.”

“Y/N, I’m really concerned,” Dean stated, sliding the phone across the table to her. “This keeps happening. I’ve heard about pregnancy brain before, but I don’t know if that would happen so fast.”

She stared at him then sighed and looked down. 

“I don’t think it does either,” she admitted. 

“Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he said slowly, clearing his throat as he tested the waters. “But I think you need to see someone.”

She stared at him blankly.

“Someone professional,” he said, trying to elaborate, but also tiptoe around the subject. “A mental health professional.”

“A shrink, you mean,” she said, bite entering her tone. 

“Well, I wouldn't say that,” he said, wincing a little. “It’s not like you’re egotistical and need your head shrunk.”

“Then what are you trying to say, Dean,” Y/N replied, glaring now. “Because I thought I told you I was trying to work through this on my own.”

“Y/N, they are literally trained to help people work through these kinds of things,” he pleaded. “You’ve been dealing with some serious mental bullshit and it actually scares me!”

“Oh yeah?” she taunted back. “And what about all those times when I told you to get help because of your mental crap from when you went to Hell and all the violence you’ve seen and your dad’s abuse and your alcohol problems? What about then? I was so scared for you and you never listened to me!”

“That’s different,” he protested, starting to increase his volume.

“No, it isn’t,” she spat back, rising from her seat. “Listen, I’m grateful for what you’ve done, but you need to learn to let my business be my business. I’m not your sister-in-law anymore.”

“Wait, the divorce papers went through?” Dean asked, feeling his blood run cold for a moment. 

For a second, he thought he saw Y/N’s expression soften, but it returned to what it had been before almost immediately. 

“No, we were never married,” she said stiffly. “It was just a symbolic ceremony. Since he broke my trust, we aren’t married anymore.”

She stepped around her chair, pushed it in, and adjusted her shirt. 

“And that means that you can’t tell me what to do,” she snapped, still glaring at him. 

Y/N pushed her chair in forcefully and stormed out, slamming the kitchen door. Dean stared at the door, then sighed heavily. He put his face in his faces, rubbed his cheeks tiredly, and stood from his own seat. Walking slowly and carefully, like he was still figuring out how to walk, Dean picked up the two breakfasts and took them to the sink. He popped open the trash can and scraped the food into it. Once both plates were clean, he set them down in the sink and sighed deeply again. 

* * *

They didn’t speak the rest of the day and it was all cold shoulders and ignoring each other. Dean made a point to set up shop in the main library while he was working on some research, in the hopes of trapping her in a conversation, but Y/N knew this bunker just as well as he did. There wasn’t any trapping her if she didn’t want to be caught. Like with her feelings, she would have to come to him in time and him trying to force it would only cause more problems. As much as it hurt him to agree with her, she was right. She wasn’t his sister-in-law anymore (not that she had ever been officially, but the point remained true) and she was an adult. If she wanted to stay in this rut, she could choose to. 

And on the topic of ruts, his was coming soon and he had a feeling that Y/N wasn’t going to want him around when it happened. But it wasn’t a good idea for him to leave the bunker when it was going on. Dean’s ruts tended to make him extremely angry and almost vicious. With all the anger he had regarding Sam right now, he wouldn’t put it past himself to try and track his brother down and rip his dick off. 

Dean grinned a little at the thought and then froze before groaning. Dammit, it was closer than he thought. Fuck, why couldn’t it happen at any other time than now? 

Dean sighed and got up with a small grunt. Nothing else to do but lock himself away and make sure he didn’t have any way to get out to potentially hurt someone. He’d done this a couple of times before, but always with Sam’s help to make sure he was locked in properly. A retrofitted bunker basement room was perfect for this purpose and they’d both used the room upon occasion, usually when there wasn’t a willing person available to help them through it.

Dean pushed the door open slowly, looking around the dusty room. It was a simple one room apartment style room with a lot of the necessities, though it lacked the warmth of an actual apartment. Everything was covered with a thin layer of dust and Dean had been showered with the stuff  Neither he or Sam had used the room for this purpose in over a year. Dean’s last rut had been a couple months ago and he’d found a bartender who was more than happy to help him through as long as he helped her with her heat. The arrangement worked out nicely and then they’d both gone their separate ways. 

Dean tested the sturdiness of the door and then moved on to test the pipes and basic bathroom. If he was going to be down here for a week, everything had better work. Luckily, it seemed like there was nothing to worry about and Dean stared at the futon in the center of the room. Ugh, he forgot about that. He’d have to sleep on something that had zero lumbar support and made him feel like he was sinking in quicksand. His back was going to hate him, but that was better than staying in the main bunker with Y/N. 

He’d always thought she was attractive, and even if he had the largest amount of restraint, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen. He didn’t even want to think about taking advantage of her, but he wanted to be careful. Fuck, he was being stupid. He was her best friend and by hell or high water, he was going to keep himself in check and not drive her off. Or violate her. He was just being ridiculous now. 

What was also concerning was the idea of leaving Y/N alone in the bunker for so long. She could take care of herself, but with her new mental state, it was worrying. In any case, she was mad enough at him that maybe the space would do them some good. 

It had to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warnings:
> 
> Weapon Concealed in Body Cavity, Threats, Implied Sexual Content and Light Cussing.

You carefully looked around the corner of the hallway. It had been a while since you last saw Dean and you’re were starting to get concerned. You thought your radio silence had done the trick and he was finally giving you some space to think, but now that you were ready to actually talk to him, Dean was nowhere to be found.

The bunker stank of sex and you could only guess why he had vanished. Smelled like he was going into rut. Great. Now there’d be some other person hanging around the bunker to help him through it. You thought about following the smell to track him down, but frankly, you’d had enough bad situations with rutting Alphas to go looking for one.

However, when he didn’t appear after two days, you shot him a text and waited.

* * *

Dean’s phone buzzed, but he didn’t pick it up. Covered in a thin sheen of sweat, he was breathing heavily and clenching his eyes shut, trying to clock out the pain. His body was revolting against him and he hated every second of it. Why the fuck was biology like this?

The buzzing happened again and Dean picked up a pillow and pressed it over his face. But it was too hot for him in a matter of seconds, so he threw it across the room. It slammed into the wall with a lot more force than he expected. 

His phone started buzzing aggressively and he rolled over, groaning the whole way as he picked it up. 

“Yello?” he asked.

* * *

You stared at your phone in shock, not sure if this was real. Dean’s voice was… off. In every way. It was deeper than usual and breathy, like he had just run a marathon or… had been hooking up for hours. 

You cleared your throat. “Dean, I’ve been trying to get in contact with you. Are you okay?”

Dean contemplated his options. Finally, he sighed. No use hiding it now.

“Not good,” he admitted. “I…”

“It’s your rut, isn’t it?” you asked, sighing yourself. 

“Yeah,” he confirmed, barely stifling a groan. “It’s bad this time.”

“Do you need anything?” you asked, biting your lip as you cast your gaze around the room. 

“I…” he started, then stopped. “I don’t know.” 

“Where are you, first of all,” you said, sighing. 

“In a room in the bunker,” he explained, groaning audibly now. “If you go past the isolation chamber, it’s down a hall on the left. Just… follow the smell.”

“I can do that,” you promised. 

“But, Y/N,” he groaned again, gasping and then coughing. “Just… Bring your gun.”

He hung up and you stared at the phone, shocked at what he had asked of you. 

* * *

The deeper you walked into the bunker, the heavier Dean’s scent became. It was an odd mix of musk, leather, and cinnamon. Not too unpleasant, but the air was so thick with it that it was leaving you almost coughing half the time. You kept your gun up and walked slowly, keeping your footsteps light and almost silent. The bunker’s stillness was comforting, but as more sound dropped away, the creepier it became. 

As you rounded a corner into the hallway just past the isolation room, the smell was so thick that you had to pause and bury your nose in your elbow. You coughed and struggled for air, having to crouch down to get to the level where it was bearable. Fuck, this was bad.

“Dean?” you called, approaching the door. 

“Y/N?” Dean answered from inside.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you replied, lowering the gun slightly. “Are you okay?”

“No,” he groaned, and through the door, you could hear noise like he was getting up. “I need you to get something for me.”

“What is it?” you asked, leaning on the door.

“I need you to get me an Omega,” he said, sounding like he was speaking through a grimace.

Your blood ran cold. This was a lot to ask, and while you were honored that he trusted you with looking for someone to hook him up with, there was a solid feeling of hurt and almost jealousy. You pushed that down and sighed. 

“Fine,” you agreed, hating how you sounded. “What are you looking for.”

“Blonde if you can,” he said, making a groaning noise. “Maybe shorter than me? Honestly, I don’t really care. Just-”

His voice cut out and he groaned again. You could hear him through the door again. 

* * *

Walking into Luna’s alone was an unsettling experience. You were so used to having Dean or Sam around to keep the more aggressive creeps off. Most guys seemed to assume that just because you didn’t have a ring or a claim mark that you were free game and an Omega. Dumbasses.

It appeared that you’d gotten the usual level of attention. However, now that you didn’t have Sam or Dean with you, you felt almost naked. Several guys looked you up and down like predators and another one at the bar gave you a wink as you walked over. You held back a shudder as you hopped up on a barstool with an open space on either side of you and waited for Gadreel to notice you. He was busy with two rather rambunctious men who were insisting that they were nice and sober. 

Once they’d been sent on their way, Gadreel wandered on over, smiling widely. 

“Y/N, it’s good to see you,” he said, sighing. “Sam and Dean were making such a fuss about you goin’ missing.”

You felt a little pang when he mentioned your ex, but you squashed it down. 

“It’s been rough around the bunker but things are coming to calm,” you explained. “Know any people here who could use to get laid?”

His eyebrows raised in surprise and you snorted. 

“Not for me, silly,” you assured him. “Dean’s gone into rut and needs an Omega, fast. This one’s worse than others.”

He winced. “Well, there’s a blonde lady over there who’s been eying every guy coming in the bar. I think she’s an Omega.”

You glanced around, easily finding her. She was pretty damn close to a natural platinum blonde and her skin was smooth and creamy. Perfect; Dean mentioned blondes and here was one. She was wearing a cherry red tank top, lipstick the same shade of her shirt, a black leather mini-skirt, and black platform boots. Several guys were outright ogling her and another was watching her with the same predatory look he’d given you on the way in.

“Thanks,” you said to Gadreel, hopping off the stool and making your way over to her. 

As you approached, she gave you a once over with her light brown eyes and raised her perfectly plucked eyebrows. So this was what a ten looked like. She was chewing gum pretty fiercely and paused to speak to you.

“Sorry, sugar, you’re not my type,” she said, a light Brooklyn accent entering her tone. 

“I’m actually asking for a friend,” you said, clearing your throat as she blew a gum bubble.

The blonde popped her gum and you held back a shudder. “You got a pic?”

You nodded and unlocked your phone, trying to keep a civil expression. When you showed her a picture of Dean, her eyes went wide and you knew you’d won her over. But then her expression turned suspicious. Maybe there was more convincing to be done. Part of you wanted her to say no, but Dean was in some serious shit this time. He needed to have sex with someone, and soon. 

“Why should I trust you?” she asked, lowering her voice.

“Because every other Alpha in this place looks like he wants to wait outside for you and murder you,” you said simply, shrugging. “Besides, if you want, you can even bring a couple of friends. We’ve got more than enough space. Might make things more fun too.”

Making that offer was going out on a serious limb, but when she shook her head, you internally sighed. 

“Nah, we’re good,” she said, shrugging too. “I can handle myself. Lead the way, girlie.”

You led her out of the bar, head held high and trying not to flinch with how loud her heels were on the floor. Neither of you said a word until you were on the road.

“My name’s Giselle, by the way,” she said, sighing and adjusting her shirt. “Since you never bothered to ask.”

“Sorry,” you said, clearing your throat. “Just a lot going on. I’m Y/N.”

“Yeah, Alphas in rut can be pretty abrasive,” she said, laughing slightly. “I’ve been around enough to know. Y/N suits you.”

You just nodded and she laughed. 

“So, where are we going?” she asked next.

“Back to our house,” you said. “Normally, we don’t bring people back to here, but this is a special occasion and I don’t think Dean should be moved right now.”

“That bad, huh?’ she asked. 

“Yep,” you confirmed.

The rest of the ride passed in silence. When you got to the bunker and led her inside, Giselle didn’t seem all that shocked or surprised. When you asked, she just shrugged and said this wasn’t the worst place she’d been to. However, the further you got into the bunker, the heavier the Alpha scent. It had gotten worse than before and you were wincing earlier.

“Oof, he’s really got it bad,” Giselle muttered, coughing lightly. 

“I said it was bad,” you replied, trying not to sound testy. “We’ve got another corridor up ahead.”

She continued to follow you, not pausing or asking anymore questions until you reached the door that hid the room Dean was locked in. You knocked slowly and waited, taking a step back, just in case. 

He answered the door in his boxers, dripping with sweat and looking red in the face. He looked immediately to Giselle. You stepped out of his way and let the two of them appraise each other. 

“The pictures don’t lie,” she said, looking Dean up and down like he was a prime cut of meat. 

He looked her up and down as well, nodding slowly. You waited, not sure if he was going to change his mind or not. But then Dean gestured for her to come forward and opened the door further. She obeyed, giving you a small nod and wink before stepping inside. 

Dean slammed the dungeon door shut and you stared at it, tears welling up. You wiped them away awkwardly, sighing as you turned and walked away. There was an ache in your chest like you’d been punched. Whatever. At least this rut wasn’t going to kill him. Giselle and him were going to have a great time. Hopefully she’d be out of the house in the morning before you woke up.  

* * *

The first thing that happened when you woke up was that you noticed that the smell was gone. Then you felt pretty damn hungry. So you pulled on your favorite sweatpants and left your room. 

As you walked out into the main library on your way to the kitchen, you stopped in your tracks when you saw the blonde adjusting her hair in the mirror. She stopped and looked over at you, a small smile on her face. 

“Good morning, Y/N,” she said, turning back to the mirror. 

“Good morning, uh,” you said, trying to remember her name. 

“It’s Giselle,” she replied, not looking away from the mirror. “Don’t worry, I know you’d rather forget I was here.”

“No, I-” you began, but she cut you off with a withering look. 

“Last night, when you were trying to convince me to sleep with Dean, you looked like you were trying to sell a kid for your soul,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “You even chose a pic that wasn’t too flattering and offered for me to bring my friends over. You were tense the whole way over and practically shoved me onto him. I know jealousy when I see it. You and him’ve got something special. Not sure why you didn’t just help him, but whatever’s stopping you… I hope you work through it. Not very often Betas find love. Don’t let it slip away.”

She gave you a sympathetic look and started towards the bunker stairs. 

“Wait, I’ll give you a ride,” you protested, starting after her.

Giselle cut you off with a wave of the hand and a small laugh. “I ordered an Uber. Don’t worry; it’s going to pick me up on the main road. You guys are hidden out here for a reason.”

“Thanks,” you said, nodding and sighing. “You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“I’m pretty sure I know,” she said, winking and heading up the stairs. 

You watched her go, pursing your lips. Well, she wasn’t the dumb blonde you’d assumed she was.

* * *

Dean entered the kitchen yawning and took at seat at the table. You were at the stove making breakfast. After the encounter with Giselle, you’d gone back to your room and gotten dressed in jeans and a plain t-shirt. You’d also pulled on running shoes, just in case you wanted to go for a run after lunch. You were busy trying to decide that when Dean started coughing to get your attention.

“You doing better now?” you asked, working on frying up some eggs.

“Loads, thanks,” he said, sighing. “We got coffee?”

“Over in the pot,” you said, gesturing with your spatula. 

“Thanks,” he said, grunting as he stood and walked on over. “So… about last night…”

“We don’t need to talk about this,” you stated. 

“I mean, I wanted to thank you,” he said, returning to the table. “It means a lot. Not everyone would have done that for me. So, thanks.”

“No problem,” you said, scooping your eggs out of the pan and onto a plate. “Gadreel was a huge help.”

“Of course he was,” Dean chuckled, getting up and going to the pantry. “Man, he knows how to pick ‘em. Giselle was hell in heels, let me tell you that.”

“She seemed like it,” you said awkwardly, going to the toaster next. 

“Yeah, she mentioned how this was the first time she hooked up with someone in a literal dungeon and not just a sex one,” he went on, shuffling around in there. 

When you took your seat, he was returning with a box of cereal, which he poured into the bowl before him and poured milk over it. You guys ate in silence before he spoke up again. There wasn’t really anything you could say there. 

“You’d never believe this, but she had a knife in her… you know,” Dean said, lowering his voice to a whisper. “She had to pull it out before we did anything. Slowed the whole business down.”

“Dean, I’d rather not discuss this anymore,” you said stiffly, cutting into your egg aggressively. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, frowning. “I thought you’d be more okay with this. Things are getting back to normal.”

“No, they aren’t,” you snapped, slamming your silverware down. “Don’t you get it? It’s never gonna be the same! Not when-”

You cut yourself off before you said those words. The words you’d been hiding and wishing weren’t true. But you couldn’t bring yourself to say them and instead pushed away from the table. 

“I’m leaving,” you stated, grabbing your purse and leaving the kitchen. 

“Y/N!” Dean called after you. “Wait, what-?”

“Don’t follow you,” you ordered, storming through the bunker.

You could hear him following you and reached into your purse, pulling out your gun. You spun around and pointed it at Dean, the barrel only inches from his chest.He froze, looking at you with wide eyes. 

“I need some space,” you spat, starting to back away.

“Just tell me what’s going on,” he pleaded.

“I’ll explain it when I figure it out myself,” you said, scowling. “I need to get out of here though.”

Dean looked ready to protest, but he sighed and lowered his arms. “Fine. I won’t follow you.”

You stared at him, a little surprised that he was letting you go so easily, but continued backing away. Only once you reached the door to the garage did you put the gun down and vanish inside, already thinking about what getaway car you were going to drive. 


End file.
